How To Talk About Men And Still Be Politically Correct
| He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY. He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST. He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT. He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION. He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT. He is not old; he is CHRONOLOGICALLY GIFTED. He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION. He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED. He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA. He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY. He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS. He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. |
